Prayer
by Oh-darling-if-only-you-knew
Summary: Castiel and Dean are stuck in Purgatory and seperated. For the first time since they got there, Castiel feels safe enough to let the strange sensation he feels every night overwhelm him, and finds he is still prayed to. (My first uploaded fanfic/oneshot - reviews will be welcomed, loved and cherished!)


_Prayer_

A/N: First fanfic I upload, also the first one-shot I've ever written. Hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Castiel was staring at his reflection, distorted by the flowing water of the stream, when he felt it again. Something glowing and warm.

He had always pushed it down, ignored it, kept it as small as a speck of dust, deep within him where it couldn't distract him and get him killed. But today he had found a small and shallow cave with only one entrance, the stream running quietly past its entrance. Today he had found a shelter that seemed untouched by the _filth_ in this place, a shelter that was easily defendable.

And so he looked up. He checked the environment. He listened intently for any movement, any signs of life. When he found none, he went into the cave, and _accepted_.

_Cas._

The glow was _everywhere_, filling his body, his vision, his hearing, until there was nothing but the light, cradling him, shielding him from the knowledge of the fact that he wasn't safe at all, that he was stuck in Purgatory, lonely and filthy and cold. And even though the light was overwhelming, the voice was actually soft. And so familiar. Relief washed over him, relief of knowing Dean was alive. He was well, and safe enough sit down and pray.

_Cas, please. I've been praying to you for days, man. Or weeks. I don't know. I don't know how long we've been here, and it… it scares me._

A silence fell, but the light was still there.

_Fuck._

Castiel could almost see Dean running his hand over his face, trying in vain to rub the tiredness from his skin.

_Your silence scares me, okay?_

The light sighed. It made Castiel smile so wide his facial muscles cramped, even though it was a smile filled with pain.

_Look, I don't know… I don't know if you're still out there, you know. Alive, I mean. But I just want you to know… You know what, screw it. Cas, I miss you. I'm not alone right now, but it's not you. And I miss you. Hell, I need you. And I want you to know that I haven't given up, Cas. I'm looking for you._

Again, a short silence fell, and Castiel waited patiently for Dean continue.

_You hear me, you stubborn son-of-a-bitch? I haven't given up on you. So don't you dare to give up on me either. You keep fighting, okay? You stay alive. Because I'm coming for you. I'm going to get us out of here._

A heartbeat.

_That's a promise._

The silence returned, and this time, the glow slowly receded, until Castiel could see the walls of his cave again. He realised then that his cheeks were wet with tears. Carefully, he touched his face, drawing back wet fingers.

"Oh."

And suddenly, he lost all control. Sobs ripped through him, and he felt as if he was being torn apart. His breath was roaring in his ears, his chest burning, his entire body shaking.

He lost all sense of time, but when the sobs finally receded and he managed to breathe a bit more normally again, he stood up, running a shaky hand through his hair, which had grown longer even than when he first met Dean Winchester.

Castiel walked outside to the stream, where he sank to his knees. The water was running slow enough for him to see the pink streaks his tears had left behind. He looked at himself for a few seconds, and then scooped up some water to wash his face, cleaning away the dirt and salt.

When he finally felt clean again, he went back to the cave, where he had made a small bed of moss and pine needles earlier, and laid down onto it. He thought of Dean. Dean was alive, Dean was with someone he trusted enough to have his back. Dean was safe.

Dean's promise whispered in his head. Maybe it was that promise, or maybe it was the knowledge that Dean was as safe as one could get in Purgatory. But even though Castiel knew he would never leave - even if it was possible, because he couldn't, he couldn't let himself, he didn't deserve it, not after all that he had done – even though he knew this, for the first time since he and Dean had found themselves in Purgatory, he found himself able to close his eyes and rest.

And so he fell asleep, dreaming of a safe and comforting light.

~End~


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